This statistic just underlines what I’ve suspected for a long time: that the man is the single most influential factor in his family’s spiritual and emotional health. A godly father or husband is irreplaceable in family life, and a godly single man has a value amongst his friends, co-workers, and observers that he can’t begin to quantify.
God created men to be leaders, caretakers, and protectors. Whether or not a man does a good job doesn’t change the fact that he will be called to give an account of his leadership, and his care and protection of others. And right now, I’m not the only woman observing how many men struggle to fulfill that calling. This is a real war for them.
In my observation:
Ask the men in your life to define manhood. One source I encountered defined manhood this way: A true man…
Now, I know that we ladies have our own failings, and I’m far more familiar when them than I am with man’s failings. I’ll probably write a post about that too. But for now, I just want to shake the ladies of my acquaintance into a new understanding.
I know in your heart of hearts, you long for the same thing I do. You want the men in your life to know the truth, to believe it, and to act upon it. To lead you courageously. To build you up, not tear you down. To model integrity to the younger generation. To show you how to suffer well and how to praise more. To persevere, speak with kindness, and share wisdom. To behave with honor and treat others with dignity.
And I see men who are capable of all of that. They just don’t know it. Sometimes it feels that I have spiritual X-ray vision, because I can literally see it in the men all around me, even in the most seemingly hopeless cases: I can see the seed of manhood ready to sprout and grow into the mighty tree it was meant to be.
We can do something about this. Here is how:
Pray for him.
If you have a father, brother, husband, son, or friend, he needs your prayers. In the Bible, Hannah prayed for her son Samuel, and God heard her prayers and answered them in a powerful way. He is the same God today.
Don’t just pray that God will change this or that about the man. Pray that God will make that man become who he was meant to be, whatever that looks like. Maybe it’s not what you expected, but it is what is right.
Don’t give up when the prayers seem to go unanswered. Do you truly care about this man? Then persevere for his sake. If you want a man who won’t give up on you, you must be the woman who won’t give up on him. You don’t know what God is working invisibly in the background while you are praying.
Don’t lecture him on who he needs to be or try to manipulate him into the mold you wish for him. Just tell him who you know he can be. “You don’t realize what I see in you. You are capable of being a hero, and I will support you 110% as you become more like that man every day.” If you were told something similar: “You are a beautiful woman and you don’t know it. I am dedicated to showing you how beautiful you are every day,” could you really ignore that?
How do you bring out his inner hero? Here are some ideas.
They especially apply to men in your household (father, husband, brother) and are not as well suited to men outside your family, with whom a wise woman is more reserved.
Ladies, please join me in lifting up the men in our community and particularly in our own families. Men need encouragement and the power of the Holy Spirit behind their efforts to be Christ-like, and we can play a part in strengthening them for that role, if we do not grow weary in well-doing. Pray for yourself, that the Lord will show you how to be the best support and encouragement that you can be. I believe He will answer our prayers.
4/30/2019 09:17:41 pm
Though it's a societal belief that women are always kinder than men, it doesn't have something to do with our gender. if a person is kind, regardless if he is a man or a woman, would always have the golden heart. Same thing goes if a person is bad. I think, it will be more ideal to pray for everyone. We have been carrying problems everyday and that could affect our relationship witty others. We should always pray not just for ourselves, but for people who need it. They might admit it or not, but there are people who need it the most.
5/29/2019 08:53:17 am
Hey, thanks for taking the time to add your thoughts. I would probably write this post differently now (2019) than I did in 2015. At the time, I was wrestling through my own disappointments with some key male figures in my life and trying to see how I could support them instead of feeling frustrated with their hurtful behavior. Now that I'm married to a loving man and in a church of men who truly demonstrate the love and patience of Christ, both to strangers and to their own families, some of what I've written above feels a little harsh to men in general.
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None of my life has gone the way it was "supposed to go," but I don't love my life any less because of the hardships and new directions. I see so much unexpected good in it, and I want others to see the good in theirs.