the unexpected good
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a blog for Christian women about

discovering joy

in the challenges of singleness,
marriage, motherhood, chronic illness,
​and every day faith

Why We Women Should Pray For Our Men

7/25/2015

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These last few months, I have become increasingly aware of a desperate need: We ladies need to pray for men.

I don’t mean that we single ladies need to pray for our future husbands. Sheesh, we’ve been doing that for a long time! I mean that we need to pray for men in general, for God to equip warriors, husbands, and fathers among the community and in the church.

Let me share an astonishing statistic with you. According to statistics cited in “The Quest for Authentic Manhood” curriculum:


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The Gifts My Father Gave Me

6/20/2015

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The first person to hold me was my father. On a cloudy winter day, he caught a slippery newborn despite the buzzing of every nerve, and as he held the tiny body, he realized that it was true: He was a father. His life would change from that moment forward.

Knowing my father, he had a moment of panic. Dear God, how am I worthy? You have given me a soul, and I have the power to influence it for good or evil. Everything I do from this moment on will model manhood and Christianity to this girl. Teach me. Teach me how to be a father.

I never realized until a few years ago just what an astonishing man my father is. Many men would be intimidated by having a daughter, but my father jumped in with both feet. Looking back now, I realize that he gave me so many gifts. These are just a few:

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The Words We Never Say - But Should

5/2/2015

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This week I learned that one of the men with whom I’ve worked the last six years passed away. As I drove home after learning this terrible news, tears welled up in my eyes and overflowed onto my cheeks.

“Oh God,” I whispered. “I knew he was battling cancer and that he hadn’t been to many of the meetings recently. I meant to send him a card, to let him know how much I appreciated the kindness he always showed me, and the optimism and experience he brought to the board meetings. But I didn’t know how serious his health was, and one thing led to another. I never sent that card—and now I never can. I’m so sorry, God. I’m so sorry I missed my chance.”


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Made to Be Mother to the Motherless

2/27/2015

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My journey toward an adoption mindset started a long time ago, but I didn’t realize it until I watched Hotel Rwanda.

I’d heard about adoption often. My friend told me that I should read Adopted for Life by Russell D. Moore, and asked me to help her brainstorm about how to begin a foundation that might be able to help families afford the cost of adoption. Another friend had a heart to work with orphans in third-world countries. A couple in my church, after years of infertility, successfully adopted an adorable little girl. Some friends of ours adopted multiple times from all over the world, combining a family of children with Asian, African, Hispanic, and Caucasian roots. My work at a crisis pregnancy center put me into contact with adoption agencies in the area, since adoption is a beautiful (and often undervalued) option for women facing unplanned pregnancies.

I had always considered adoption a wonderful thing, but it didn’t personally impact me until about a year ago.


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It's Not Your Job to Change Them

1/6/2015

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Having written about how to confront someone lovingly, I feel it is important to add a postscript to the discussion, and that is: It is not our job to change the other person. It's simply our job to communicate with the other person. Change is up to God.

Over and over, I see people (particularly women) reinterpret the idea of lovingly confronting someone into subtly manipulating someone to change. Let me explain how this works, and why it can be a relationship-killer.


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The Impact of the Father Daughter Relationship

12/23/2014

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In one of the autobiographical stories by Scottish veterinarian James Herriot, he describes how he courted a beautiful young woman named Helen. Jim was impressed with Helen’s kindness toward her aging and lonely father, whose wife had died some years before. Jim then reminded his young male readers that, when they consider a woman for marriage, they should take a passing glance at how she treats her father, because that is how the woman will treat her husband someday. Jim’s instincts were right, because the kindness, respect, and skill that Helen had given to her father were brought into her marriage with Jim.


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Invest in your Siblings

11/14/2014

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"Do you know who is going to be most sad when Yaasha marries someday?"

When my mother asked this of my father, I sat up straighter in the back seat of the car and tried to pretend that I wasn't listening with all my might.

"Who?" Daddy asked. Yes, who? My mind echoed.

"Asher. Those two are always doing something together, and he seems to really enjoy the time she spends with him, and to listen when she talks to him."

A wiggle of pure delight danced in my chest. My brother Asher is almost 11 years my junior. So while I'm in my mid-20s, he's in his mid-teens. That age gap is often a huge hurdle for siblings. For my brother and I, it's just another reason to spend more time getting to know each other.


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The IMportance of PHysical Touch in the Father-Daughter Relationship

12/1/2013

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This subject may sound a little weird, but I want to address the issue of appropriate, loving touch between fathers and daughters. It may seem like a small matter--just a side note to other aspects of the father-daughter relationship--but I believe that this is actually a critical facet of the relationship.

Studies Show WE Need Touch.

The importance of physical contact is demonstrated overwhelmingly by numerous studies. A study by Albert Mehramian of UCLA estimates that the spoken word accounts for about 7% of communication, but that body language accounts for about 55% of communication; I would include physical touch in the category of body language. 

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    Meet Yaasha

    None of my life has gone the way it was "supposed to go," but I don't love my life any less because of the hardships and new directions. I see so much unexpected good in it, and I want others to see the good in theirs.

    Learn more about me here.


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