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How To MInister to a Woman with a Negative Body Image

1/24/2015

If a friend of yours struggles with feeling like her body doesn’t measure up to some invisible standard for women, this post is for you, to help you understand what she needs. It’s easy for someone to say, “Well, just don’t think like that anymore,” but it’s ridiculously difficult to change damaging thought patterns. However, sometimes a change in habits can bring about change in thoughts.

And don’t just take my word for it: in preparation for this post (and the last one), I spoke with several ladies who have faced (and sometimes still face) these struggles in their own lives.

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What Do I Do If I Have a Negative Body Image?

1/24/2015

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Write positive messages to yourself on the mirror.

When you have a negative body image, the mirror can be your worst enemy. Turn it into your friend. Use window markers or sticky notes to remind you of truth: Bible verses that identify inner beauty as more precious than outward beauty; positive things that people have said about your character or actions; people to pray for; ways you can bless someone else…

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When God Rearranges the Pieces

1/23/2015

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My life has gone nothing like I expected. When I was little, I planned to marry by 21 (the latest!), have lots of kids, become a best-selling author, and possibly become a Christian singer as well.

As yet, none of that has happened, because, you see, what I didn’t plan was to be a clerk at an awesome educational toy store, an administrative assistant at a local office, a client advocate at a pregnancy center, and more. The pieces of my life, so far, have fit into an entirely different pattern than I anticipated.

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Should We Evaluate Our Spiritual State?

1/16/2015

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As Christians, we often encourage each other to evaluate our walk with the Lord constantly. However, while there are benefits to being sensitive to the Holy Spirit and to cultivating a teachable nature, I see some dangers to this trend.

First, self-evaluation can become self-focused, rather than Christ-focused.

While it is necessary to be honest with ourselves about the state of our hearts, we can become too absorbed in searching ourselves. In some cases, we may wallow in guilt for the very sin that Christ atoned for.

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5 Ways to Minister to a Friend Who Is Depressed

1/16/2015

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Note: I intend this as a follow-up to "What Do I Do If I'm Depressed? A Christian Perspective."

If you have a friend who struggles with depression, either as a temporary phase or as a recurring problem, here are five ways to be a good friend.

Acknowledge her feelings.

Often, we want our friend to just be happy. When she can't be, it's natural to try to "fix" whatever is wrong with her. But, first, we have to realize we can't fix her. Only God can.

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What Do I Do If I'm Depressed?

1/10/2015

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"I can see how you can doubt your Christianity when you're depressed," a friend told me once. Raising unhappy eyes to me, she asked, "Can you be a Christian and still be depressed?"

"Yes." I replied. "Haven't you read the book of Job?"

"Oh!" Her face lit. "It's one of my favorite books."

"Mine too," I agreed with warmth. I've thought about that conversation since then. Here are some of my thoughts.

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3 Ways we judge Others

1/9/2015

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1. We judge what we perceive to be unethical.

“It’s not right,” I told my mother. “So-and-so runs a puppy mill. She breeds her dogs constantly for more litters, and most of her dogs are so inbred that they have serious genetic deformities.”

“I know that a puppy mill is a very unethical operation,” Mom said. “But think for a moment. That woman is a single mother, in the poorest town of the county. She’s trying to make an income. What else is she going to do? Sell drugs like everyone else in her town?”

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It's Not Your Job to Change Them

1/6/2015

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Having written about how to confront someone lovingly, I feel it is important to add a postscript to the discussion, and that is: It is not our job to change the other person. It's simply our job to communicate with the other person. Change is up to God.

Over and over, I see people (particularly women) reinterpret the idea of lovingly confronting someone into subtly manipulating someone to change. Let me explain how this works, and why it can be a relationship-killer.

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discovering joy

How To MInister to a Woman with a Negative Body Image

What Do I Do If I Have a Negative Body Image?

Write positive messages to yourself on the mirror.

When God Rearranges the Pieces

Should We Evaluate Our Spiritual State?

First, self-evaluation can become self-focused, rather than Christ-focused.

5 Ways to Minister to a Friend Who Is Depressed

Acknowledge her feelings.

What Do I Do If I'm Depressed?

3 Ways we judge Others

1. We judge what we perceive to be unethical.

It's Not Your Job to Change Them

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