the unexpected good
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a blog for Christian women about

discovering joy

in the challenges of singleness,
marriage, motherhood, chronic illness,
​and every day faith

Leaning In

5/29/2019

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When we deal with painful things, do we pull away from our Lord or lean into Him?

“You’re feeling yucky today, aren’t you?” My husband asks, seating himself next to my quivering body. He reaches out and pulls me in to a warm, close embrace. I cry out in pain.


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A Time of Healing

4/30/2017

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"I don't understand," I told my friend through my tears. "I thought that I'd be over this by now. What is wrong with me, that I can't just move past this?"

"Honey," my friend replied gently. "You've been living with this situation for years. You think you're going to heal in just a few months?"

Yes. Yes, I did think I would. I didn't want to believe that I was so weak. What design could God possibly have in my weakness?

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Facing Tomorrow Without Fear

4/5/2017

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Fear has been a near-constant battle for me in the last few months.

Recently, my life changed significantly. When I came to grips with a number of difficult things I had been denying or minimizing over the years, it all led to making significant changes in my life. Suddenly, I found myself in a completely unfamiliar place, surrounded by strangers, battling constant doubts and fears, unemployed, and uprooted from almost every familiar or comforting thing I knew.

Every tomorrow seemed like a yawning chasm of the unknown.

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Christian, How Do You Suffer?

5/3/2016

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This post first appeared on LessonsFromPain.com on February 17, 2016.
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This week my community lost a 23-year-old young man. He was ice-fishing on the lake with friends and, through a series of circumstances, was alone in sub-zero temperatures when his truck broke through the ice. He extricated himself and tried to make it to shore. He never made it.

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6 Ways to Know If He's Worth It

3/3/2016

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How do I know if a man is worth developing a relationship with? How do I know if he has the character to be a good husband? Well, here are my top six ways to know if a guy is worth it.

Note: I hesitated to post this, because of the fear that people would mistake it as a "This is my laundry list of qualifications for my future husband," which is not at all the intent. I wrote it--and now share it--because I think my thought processes here have some value for the young woman who seeks guidance in these matters and wants to set her standards responsibly.

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The Life I Really Want

1/27/2016

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I started this post with a totally different title. I wanted to write about energy and how variable it is for me, with the usual mix of honesty about a rough situation and optimism for the future. And I started to write, "I can handle any situation so long as I have the energy to do what I want."

​But that made me think. What do I want?

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When You See What This Grace Has Done

8/29/2015

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Recently, a friend and I were reading through a book entitled Transforming Grace by Jerry Bridges, and we were both struck by the same passage. I don't have the book right in front of me, or I would quote it for you, but here's the basic idea:

When I sin and then repent of it, God does not put me in some different category in which I must serve a penance before I can be fit for His work. When I am righteous, that does not entitle me to greater blessings nor make me necessarily more "fit" for God's work.

Let me explain.


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A Prayer to Use My Gifts Well

7/4/2015

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Do you have a dream? Do you have a strong desire that has not yet been fulfilled? Do you have a God-given gift--a talent, an opportunity--that you desire to use well?


This week, as I have been contemplating my unfulfilled dreams, I had a conversation with myself. I hope it will bless you as you seek to use your gifts and dreams wisely. 


(Oh yeah, and if you're a graduate, this is especially applicable for you!)

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Bruce Jenner's Missing Piece

6/27/2015

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Bruce Jenner had a problem: He didn’t feel like he belonged. He felt like something was missing. After a number of years of searching for the missing piece, he came to the conclusion that it was because he was born a man, but at heart, he feels like a woman.

So Bruce made the decision to become Caitlyn.

I don’t need to resay everything that the tabloids have said about the complexity of that “transformation,” but I want to highlight something here: that missing piece.

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Could God's will require me to suffer?

6/13/2015

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There’s an obscure story in the Bible that I believe demonstrates a shocking truth about God: If He tells you to do something, there is no guarantee that it will turn out well for you.

The story with an uncomfortable implication

Let’s pick up the story in Judges 20. The children of Israel have just discovered some shocking immorality and violence in the tribe of Benjamin. When Benjamin goes to war against the other tribes in order to defend and protect the evil-doers, the children of Israel ask God: “Which of us shall go up first to battle Benjamin?” God answers, “Judah first.”

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    Meet Yaasha

    None of my life has gone the way it was "supposed to go," but I don't love my life any less because of the hardships and new directions. I see so much unexpected good in it, and I want others to see the good in theirs.

    Learn more about me here.


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