the unexpected good
  • Home
  • Blog
  • About
  • Videos
  • Contact
a blog for Christian women about

discovering joy

in the challenges of singleness,
marriage, motherhood, chronic illness,
​and every day faith

Advice for Young Women Who Do Too Much

10/21/2014

4 Comments

 
Picture
In a previous post, I discussed the single young woman with too little to do. In this post, I discuss the opposite: the single young woman who does everything.

This is the woman who copes with multiple jobs, various responsibilities, ministry or community work, her own business, church duties, leadership roles, and more. She is the one who to whom everyone runs when something needs to be done and whom everyone considers Superwoman.

The Problems

Here are some ways in which the woman who does everything becomes very vulnerable:

·      She leaves herself open to spiritual, mental, emotional, and physical consequences. This can cause real danger to the young woman. For example, I know of a case in which a young woman with too many jobs became so overwhelmed that she thought seriously of harming herself. For myself, I struggle with health issues that force me to maintain only a part-time job. When I try to do what my peers can do, my body suffers badly, and with it, my spirits.

·      She makes poor judgments. If she has 100 choices to make a day, what is the likelihood that those choices will become progressively poor as the woman tires? If she proceeds in chronic emotional or physical exhaustion, how likely is her judgment to deteriorate over time? The consequences of poor judgment lead to more stress, which repeats the cycle.

·      Her relationships suffer. No woman can maintain those important relationships when she is on burn-out. Everyone knows that fatigue (mental or physical) is one of the primary sparks of conflict. How can a woman give her best to the ones she loves, when she has already given her best to so many other things?

·      She begins to resent opportunities to serve. This was one of the biggest clues for me, when I was in the midst of my own burn-out cycle. I began to resent intrusions on my time, no matter how small they were. Even invitations to fun events seemed like too much. When the busy woman loses her desire to meet the needs of others, it is usually because she has unmet needs of her own to which she must attend.

·      Her own goals fall by the wayside. The woman with too much to do is distracted from the things she truly loves. Unique gifts that should be developed are buried under a pile of responsibilities and expectations. This is not only a loss for her, but a loss for others who might benefit from her God-given gifts.

Some Solutions

·      Reduce. If the pressure affects a woman’s health or spirit to the point of real damage, it’s time to cut back. Even one extra day at home—with no obligations—can radically change the busy woman’s situation and outlook.

·      Quit. This can’t apply to every situation. When a woman reaches motherhood, for example, she can’t simply quit. But many women feel a sense of obligation to jobs or duties or ministries that, in reality, are not as necessary to themselves as they believe. Quitting is not always an act of failure. Sometimes it’s an act of wisdom.

·      Realize that she's not the only answer. She may believe that she is “the only person” who can fulfill a particular role. She's wrong. She are not the only tool in God’s toolbox. “But who will do it if I won’t do it?” The answer: That’s God’s department—not hers.

·      Delegate. A woman best serves, not when she does it all herself, but when she builds a community that shares the work.

·      Learn to say “no.” Whenever she says “yes” to something, she must say “no” to something else. She should be sure that when she says “yes,” it is to something so worth it, that those necessary “no’s” won’t bother her.

·      Prioritize. What unique gifts has God given her? What goals has she shelved in favor of various responsibilities? For example, writing and encouragement to women are my gifts and I’ve always felt that they were God’s direction for my life. For years, I put them on the back burner because I felt obligated to finish college and then to earn an income. When my health forced me to cut back on many of my previous duties, I realized that I had almost let my real priority slip away from me. Don’t make the same mistake. Make your time count for the things that are most important to you.


If you are in this category, please know that I am not judging you. I share your weakness for work. But I need you to see the truth: You are not succeeding. You are failing in the things you most care about, because you are too busy with lesser things. Carefully choose only those things that are worthiest of your time and energy. Stop trying to do it by yourself but, rather, give your time to the Lord.
Psalm 127:1-2
Except the Lord build the house, they labour in vain that build it: except the Lord keep the city, the watchman waketh but in vain. It is vain for you to rise up early, to sit up late, to eat the bread of sorrows: for so he giveth his beloved sleep.

Like this post? Subscribe to the email list!

* indicates required
4 Comments
Amanda link
10/22/2014 07:48:50 am

I think another problem in this category is PRIDE. It is tempting to believe "I am needed" (what you mentioned in "Realize that she's not the only answer"). Speaking personally, when I get wrapped up in doing and doing, I often forget for Whom I am doing it (Colossians 3:23-24). Instead of wishing to glorify God in my "servanthood," I begin to realize, "Hey, I'm a very useful person!" (i.e., pride) (see 2 Corinthians 12:17-18).

Just as for the woman who does too little, the woman who does too much ought to spend time seeking God for HIM to prioritize her life. It's easy for me to create my list of "to-do's" but unless I let God lead, it will indeed be a failure.

A verse that came to mind is 1 Corinthians 7:34, "There is difference also between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman careth for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit: but she that is married careth for the things of the world, how she may please her husband." Unfortunately, many times the woman who does too much does not give herself time to care for the things of the Lord (Bible time, prayer, worship). When I have spent time with my Lord, I find it easier to seek Him throughout the day as many choices come before me.

Thanks again for sharing, Yaasha!

~Amanda

"Trust in the Lord with all thine heart, and lean not unto thine own understanding." Proverbs 3:5

Reply
Yaasha Moriah
10/24/2014 07:50:27 am

I had to laugh at your comment. Yes, pride can so often be disguised as selfless service! I have fallen into that trap so many times. The Lord's leading in setting priorities is definitely a must. Many things are good, but not all things are actually as necessary as we assume. When we keep things in perspective with the true priority of our relationship with the Lord, He adds effectiveness to our efforts. "Seek ye first the kingdom of God, and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you." ~ Matt. 6:33

Reply
Ash
10/23/2014 12:46:58 am

This post just spoke to so many volumes in my life!!! I can honestly admit that this perfectly describes me , but I thank God for showing me this, so I can make the necessary changes in my life for Him. Thank you Yaasha for letting God use you to bring forth his message.
Be blessed! :)

Reply
Yaasha Moriah
10/24/2014 07:55:43 am

I'm glad that you were encouraged, Ash. Making changes is not something that can be done overnight, so take it one step at a time and seek the Lord's wisdom in your life as you prioritize. May your daily work become, not a burden, but a delight! I'm praying for you.

Reply



Leave a Reply.

      Never miss a post.

    Subscribe to Email List
    Picture

    Meet Yaasha

    None of my life has gone the way it was "supposed to go," but I don't love my life any less because of the hardships and new directions. I see so much unexpected good in it, and I want others to see the good in theirs.

    Learn more about me here.


    Picture

    Archives

    May 2020
    April 2020
    February 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    October 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    October 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    May 2017
    April 2017
    February 2017
    May 2016
    March 2016
    January 2016
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014
    February 2014
    January 2014
    December 2013


    Categories

    All
    Adoption
    Bible Verse
    Book Excerpt
    Book Excerpts
    Christian Community
    Chronic Illness
    Courtship
    Dating
    Depression
    Discovering Joy
    Evangelism
    Excellent Relationships
    Faith
    Family Relationships
    Fearless
    Forgiveness
    God And Christianity
    Godly Womanhood
    How We See Ourselves
    Identity
    Incredible Journey
    Joy
    Life Direction
    Marriage
    Ministry
    Miscarriage
    Motherhood
    Our Story
    Overcoming Sin
    Persecution
    Poetry
    Prayer
    Pro-life
    Ready For Him Today
    Relationship With God
    Service To Others
    Singleness
    Spiritual Growth
    Suffering
    Womanhood

Proudly powered by Weebly
  • Home
  • Blog
  • About
  • Videos
  • Contact