the unexpected good
  • Home
  • Blog
  • About
  • Videos
  • Contact
a blog for Christian women about

discovering joy

in the challenges of singleness,
marriage, motherhood, chronic illness,
​and every day faith

The Power of PHysical Contact (From Ready For Him Today)

6/24/2014

0 Comments

 
Picture
We can’t fool ourselves about the power of physical contact. Contact can begin innocently—hugging or holding hands—but it may not end there. Even something seemingly innocent, like tickling, can become passionate embracing in the blink of an eye or can create a situation in which the hands might touch somewhere that’s not appropriate. It can happen so easily, even with the best of intentions.

The Chemistry of Physical Contact
In fact, there are chemical reasons for why physical contact can start something that is difficult to stop. 

For example, studies have shown that pheromones, chemicals released by both men and women, can increase sexual attraction. Pheromones appear to be particularly influential on women, and they generally work through a woman’s sense of smell to influence her brain. The smell may be so subtle that she is not even conscious of its presence. If a woman is physically close to a man, even without actually touching him, the pheromones from the sweat on his skin may increase her attraction to him at a subconscious level.

Furthermore, the book Hooked by doctors Mcilhaney and Bush,[1]explains that physical contact between men and women—even mild contact such as hugging—triggers the release of the hormone oxytocin. This hormone produces a sense of bonding in the woman, increasing her trust for and her emotional bond with the man. 

This explains why so many women stay with abusive boyfriends or husbands; the oxytocin reinforcement of sexual contact between a woman and her abuser makes it difficult for her to get out of the situation. This also explains why women who get involved with men on an emotional level, starting out with innocent hugs and hand-holding, find it increasingly difficult to say no to more intimate physical contact. 

In her book The Female Brain, neuropsychiatrist Louann Brizendine adds that behaviors such as emotionally satisfying interaction, prolonged eye contact, touching, kissing, and sexual excitement all stimulate oxytocin release. Oxytocin turns off the brain’s sense of caution and anxiety, leaving the woman in a state of impaired judgment.

The Progression of Physical Contact
Women are not the only ones who find it difficult to stop the sexual progression. The book For Young Women Only shows that once physical contact is initiated, it’s hard for guys to keep from getting more involved. 

According to the surveys cited in the book, the average man expects the woman to place limits on the physical relationship, because the man knows that he will always want more. That’s a lot of pressure for a woman. She might think a kiss is just a kiss; he might think it’s a stepping stone to something more, even if she’s made her boundaries clear.



The Truth
We might think we’re spiritually and emotionally strong enough to resist temptation, and then we may get into the situation and find out otherwise. 

Even if we think we’re strong enough to handle a certain situation, how do we know that the other person is strong enough too? Are we willing to trust our purity to someone else’s self-control? How much are we willing to risk in order to test the limits of self-control?

A young woman once told me, “I never thought I’d make those choices—never. Then, when I got into tempting situations, I found out that I had much less self-control than I ever imagined. I learned that I wasn’t invincible.” 

God doesn’t tell us to stand firm against sexual temptation. He tells us to flee.[2] In other words, the key to being sexually safe is not to exert more self-control; it is to stay away from compromising circumstances.


[1] Hooked: New Science on How Casual Sex is Affecting our Childrenby Joe S. Mcilhaney, Jr., M.D., and Freda McKissic Bush.
[2] 2 Timothy 2:22

Like this post? Subscribe to the email list!

* indicates required
0 Comments



Leave a Reply.

      Never miss a post.

    Subscribe to Email List
    Picture

    Meet Yaasha

    None of my life has gone the way it was "supposed to go," but I don't love my life any less because of the hardships and new directions. I see so much unexpected good in it, and I want others to see the good in theirs.

    Learn more about me here.


    Picture

    Archives

    May 2020
    April 2020
    February 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    October 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    October 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    May 2017
    April 2017
    February 2017
    May 2016
    March 2016
    January 2016
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014
    February 2014
    January 2014
    December 2013


    Categories

    All
    Adoption
    Bible Verse
    Book Excerpt
    Book Excerpts
    Christian Community
    Chronic Illness
    Courtship
    Dating
    Depression
    Discovering Joy
    Evangelism
    Excellent Relationships
    Faith
    Family Relationships
    Fearless
    Forgiveness
    God And Christianity
    Godly Womanhood
    How We See Ourselves
    Identity
    Incredible Journey
    Joy
    Life Direction
    Marriage
    Ministry
    Miscarriage
    Motherhood
    Our Story
    Overcoming Sin
    Persecution
    Poetry
    Prayer
    Pro-life
    Ready For Him Today
    Relationship With God
    Service To Others
    Singleness
    Spiritual Growth
    Suffering
    Womanhood

Proudly powered by Weebly
  • Home
  • Blog
  • About
  • Videos
  • Contact