the unexpected good
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a blog for Christian women about

discovering joy

in the challenges of singleness,
marriage, motherhood, chronic illness,
​and every day faith

Your Gentleness Has Made Me Great

10/3/2019

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Your gentleness has made me great. 
​
- Psalm 18:35b
Recently, my husband and I have been scouring through our marriage "garden" for weeds. Our marriage is fantastic; we've never argued and any disagreement has developed as an illuminating discussion, not a clash of wills. However, as we've read through Vertical Marriage by Dave and Ann Wilson, we've discovered a few weeds in our garden. They're not full-grown--we were barely aware of them--but we recognize their potential to take over our carefully-cultivated fruitfulness.

​In the course of that weeding process, I have become intensely aware of my own selfishness.

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The Four Gifts of Our Miscarriage

8/12/2019

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Note: If you've experienced miscarriage and your emotions are different than those I express here, that's okay. I'm simply sharing my thoughts here for those who might be encouraged by them.
"I hope this isn't an offensive question," the woman asked. "And stop me if it is. What gifts have you experienced through this miscarriage?"

I immediately responded with excitement. God has been proving His love to me through this loss, and I wanted to share my story of gratitude.
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How to Affirm Singles: Recognize Their Gifts

8/8/2019

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I don't think the answer to the invisibility and struggle of singleness is focusing on the singleness. Yes, we need to affirm the real-life difficulties of singleness. Yes, we need to be more inclusive of singles in church activities. But even while we do that, we're highlighting that singleness is Different and Separate from "the rest of the church." So Different and Separate that we need to be extra thoughtful to include them.

​The real way to affirm the singles? Recognize their gifts in the church.

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Our Breath From the Lord (a Story of Miscarriage)

7/18/2019

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When we learned that I was pregnant, I cried. My husband Paul held me in his arms and we prayed and thanked God, amidst overwhelming feelings of inadequacy, joy, anxiety, love...

After years of chronic pain and tick-borne illnesses, I had also been diagnosed with a Functional Neurological Disorder that involved non-epileptic seizures and periodic weakness and paralysis. I also faced debilitating panic and anxiety attacks--something that made me feel like everything was "in my head," even though I knew it wasn't.

Paul and I had questioned whether it was safe or wise for me to get pregnant, but after a year of marriage and many doctor visits, we realized that we trusted the Lord with the risks. We wanted to begin a family.


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Single Women: You Can Give Relationship Advice

7/10/2019

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I was recently sharing coffee with two lovely ladies, one of whom was single, and she mentioned that she had found herself unexpectedly sharing relationship advice with a friend whose marriage was struggling. "I don't know why I feel I was qualified to share my opinion on what she should do. I've never even been on a date!"

Yet, when the other (married) woman and I heard what this single woman had given as advice to her married friend, we both agreed that her insight was Biblically and practically sound.

The sad part is, society says--and so many single women believe--that singles are "unqualified" to give relationship advice to their attached or married friends.

I utterly reject this lie. Here's why.

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Waiting in Faith

6/18/2019

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Today I am waiting. Waiting to know if my baby is still alive.

Paul and I prayed for this baby long before I saw the doctor's note: "Your test was positive. Congratulations!" I was so overwhelmed that when Paul prayed over me and our new little one, I sobbed on his shoulder. 

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When God's Dreams Are Bigger Than Mine

6/18/2019

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My secret preferences for a husband were very specific, but I gave up those dreams because I did not want to encourage unrealistic expectations. God alone knew what kind of man was best for me, and I trusted Him.

Unknown to me, God took my secret list and the dreams I had given up to Him, and said with a gleam in His sovereign eye, "Daughter, you are about to meet my son Paul."

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Leaning In

5/29/2019

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When we deal with painful things, do we pull away from our Lord or lean into Him?

“You’re feeling yucky today, aren’t you?” My husband asks, seating himself next to my quivering body. He reaches out and pulls me in to a warm, close embrace. I cry out in pain.


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The First Woman

10/25/2018

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​Some years ago, I read a parable of three women that became my guide for how I wanted to live Christian womanhood--but, unknown to me, that story poisoned my vision of womanhood.

This was the parable, as I remember it.
​

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Married and Single: An Undistracted Devotion

9/15/2018

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Taking a quick break from my Incredible Journey posts, I'd like to highlight a meditation that has recurred often for me recently...
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Is marriage a distraction from whole-hearted devotion?

When I was single, I often struggled with a disturbing fear: that my future marriage would distract me from true, single-minded devotion to God. That was always very concerning to me, even though I vaguely understood that having a husband would likely consume much of my time and--let's face it--my affection.

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    Meet Yaasha

    None of my life has gone the way it was "supposed to go," but I don't love my life any less because of the hardships and new directions. I see so much unexpected good in it, and I want others to see the good in theirs.

    Learn more about me here.


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