How many times have you walked past a memorial to a dead person--and not noticed? What will make your life any more significant in the end?
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When I first joined my high school cross-country running team, I had a bad habit of looking at my feet. Partially, this was due to the fact that the school cross-country course included a narrow path that meandered through the forest, snaring runners with roots and puddles and the occasional gopher-hole. With so many obstacles, how could Inot watch where I was going? The Problem But looking at my feet had an unintended consequence: It slowed me down. There was no way to race effectively and watch my step at the same time. Necessity forced me to make a choice: either accept the fact that I may trip, or never discover my true speed. “How do I know that this is the Lord’s will?” We wrestle with this question often. While it is important to be sensitive to the Holy Spirit, and to listen well to God’s leading, I notice that we often misunderstand God’s will. One day, when I was nineteen, I had the choice between two jobs and I had to make up my mind in five minutes. During that time, despite fervent prayer, I heard no answer. It was as though God stepped back and said, “It doesn’t matter. Choose the one you prefer.” That’s exactly what I did—and I’ve never regretted my decision. When my aunt died unexpectedly, family and friends spoke at her funeral service of the little ways in which her kindness had impacted them, and one of the stories that most stirred me was someone’s recollection of my aunt’s faithfulness in sending cards. She didn’t wait for a particular occasion to make someone feel special. People in her community and amongst her loved ones all recognized the hand-painted watercolor cards, with the usual chatty note inside. “I was thinking of you the other day, and thought I would send you a note. How are you? What is going on in your life?” My aunt’s cards are now treasures in my family, memorials to the woman who spread such light and encouragement to those around her. Often as Christians, we seek the Lord not for the joy of simply knowing our Creator and author of our salvation, but for some benefit that we feel He can provide. We can turn the beautiful gifts He lavishes so generously into simply another layer between us and a real relationship with Him. Beneath the spiritual-sounding words, hidden motivations lurk. We want to be righteous, not so much because of the rightness of it, but because we will feel better about ourselves, we will feel more confident about our spiritual maturity, or because a righteous lifestyle will impress other Christians. We want to be filled with the Holy Spirit, so that we will not feel so burdened by our sin, or so we will have the power to be more effective. This first appeared in the Spring 2014 issue of Incorruptible Beauty, a quarterly newsletter for Christian women. It was originally entitled "The Great Dog Disappointment." My Dream Dog When I was in my early to mid-teens, I wanted a dog. I knew exactly what kind I wanted. I flipped through a dog breed book until I found it: an alert, bright-eyed dog with almost cat-like grace and a mane of soft black fur. It was called the Groenendael, more commonly known as the Belgian Sheepdog. Our relationship with the Lord is the doorway to all other relationships. This relationship must become the basis for relationships with others, so that our relationships will be strong and long-lasting. Of course, we will always struggle to love the Lord as He ought to be loved. We will not always feel a spiritual sense of closeness to Him. But loving God is not about feeling lovingly toward Him; it is about acting in a way that demonstrates our love for Him. I once confessed to my father, “I feel like I don’t love the Lord anymore. I feel like I’m just doing what He wants me to do out of habit and not because I love Him.” My father asked, “What’s wrong with that?” At the time, it seemed barbaric that I could obey God out of habit rather than out of love, but as time went on, I began to see what my father had meant. What would you think of a woman who constantly wrote and spoke about the man she loved, spent time with his immediate family members, and studied his love letters over and over—yet rarely spent time with him? We may laugh at the idea, but many women today fall into the same pattern in their relationship with Jesus Christ. In the multitude of women’s retreats and ministries, missions trips, church programs and events, Christian women lead lives so full of Christian clutter that there is little opportunity for deep relating with our God. When I signed up to train at the local crisis pregnancy center, I did not fully know that I was training to be a client advocate, a job for which I felt utterly unready. By the time I realized my mistake, it was too late.
It was one of the best mistakes of my life. |
Meet YaashaNone of my life has gone the way it was "supposed to go," but I don't love my life any less because of the hardships and new directions. I see so much unexpected good in it, and I want others to see the good in theirs. Archives
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